I try to help nudge open the minds of those around me with one action at a time. This is how I live my life; trying to be an example of what happens when someone just is, which is quite difficult in our technology and service driven world. I like for one moment to run into the next without much planning ahead or thinking about how my action will be perceived by others….
…that is what I like to tell myself anyways.
What was just written was my ego trying to make its identity fit into some kind of role. The persona I relate to which helps me remember my story and give meaning to my life, the one I have been creating since the birth of my avatar.
Although we are told when we are young “We can achieve our dreams” no one specified that our dreams mustn’t hold our only value and true worth. We should also be told the we must have understanding of ourselves beside our actions for the ego.
I just got off the phone with my father who I haven’t spoken to since last weekend. I speak to him every weekend and we have long conversations about life in general. Sometimes he is coherent; sometimes he has had way too much to drink. Most of the time he gets offended by something said or misconstrued. Today he was angry because I didn’t call him on Father’s Day.
I explained that it was a day that only brings more pain than joy for those who have had losses in their lives and that should one day hold so much baring on one’s character. It has been turned from a day of commemoration to a day of counting up grievances so that they can be doled back out, much like any other commemorating day in the eyes of divisionalized corporate societies.
He didn’t much like my explanation, so I asked him if I was wrong to not speak to him that one day when I speak to him every other weekend of the year. He couldn’t answer. I also asked if my sister who called him that one day yet ignores his calls throughout the year was now somehow “off the hook” because she called on this special designated day.
To me, how can someone came up with a day that was soon adopted commercially and is synonymous with one attending a weekly church service to make them feel good about themselves.
The feeding that ego again is what it is all about. We all want to be heard, we all want our experience to be known, we all want to be honored, and we all want someone to celebrate us. How can anyone be trusted when the actions that they pursue are for the ego?
It is trust that is no longer valid when one lets go of the ego and no longer has the need to be offended.
My father quickly changed the subject from my infraction to his ego over to what my current status is on some projects. Well mainly just the project that involves a metal sign created by my late grandfather. It once traversed the entrance to his family’s land. This was the land which had been in our family since the inception of U.S. War Bounty Land Warrants given out to veterans of the Revolutionary War; lands that were slowly sold off in small parcels when economic times became rough and eventually succumbed to being completely lost when my grandfather died and his new wife decided she no longer wanted the upkeep, but rather the money it was worth.
It has now been resting and rusting away in my uncle’s former neighbor’s yard until I rescued it a few weeks ago. My plan is to sand it down and repaint it to keep the rust from eating it to nothing. Although there is no longer hundreds of year old family land for it to grace the entrance, there can be a resurrection of it amongst my vegetable garden in the suburbs.
This is I do believe is something to commemorate, or maybe not, since it means the passing of a way of life that may never again be seen in this country.
(I wonder what ever came of the old family graveyard tucked away in the woods on that property?)
I informed my dad that the sign is patiently nesting between my corn and grapes awaiting its make-over, and that I have more pressing projects before the grinding can commence. He wasn’t impressed.
He scoffed at my involvement with People Against the NDAA . He told me that I can’t change the way things are.
Really? What happened to father’s telling their children that the world is at their feet?
Man, there could be a long list of achievements that never were if their inspiration came from father’s like mine.
I see my future to be bright and I will not allow there to be anyone with the authority over me and my family that of sovereign action. Do people not realize that laws create futures? These are the parameters we are setting for our children’s achievements. This is when that inspiring adage “Be all that you can be” warps into “Be what we say you can be or move out of our way.”
I continue loving my dad for the human that he is and leave the inspiration to those who stood up for something like Samuel Adams who said, “It does not take a majority to prevail… but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men.”
That is if I can trust the intentions of those who wrote the history books.