I live in a very fluid and symbolic world as an artist. I would assume many other artists, writers, and all around creatives are similar. The symbolic nature of my reality allows for me to create connections and meaning through most of my everyday happenings. I see a huge universe where everything is interconnected and flowing toward some kind of oneness.
It also becomes difficult being a mother to children, running a household, keeping up on daily chores, while trying to sustain my creativity. Keeping a creative flow of thoughts alongside these experiences as the only happenings in my everyday life becomes a bit overwhelming sometimes.
The combination of sameness and civil responsibility can become mundane or downright neurotic in some instances.
Recently, I jumped on the band wagon of #The100DayProject under the nomenclature of #100daysofusuallylate. The project is being supported by The Great Discontent…a magazine that is not just a magazine about creatives.
I was up late, as usual. So late it was the early morning hours and I decided to show up for myself. I am usually late when it comes to many things, but the worst of them is showing up for myself. I don’t normally voice my opinion too harshly. I would like to say this is because I do not want hurt feelings, or because as a Libra I want balance, but really it is because I abhor confrontation.
I like people liking me. I do not like people not liking me or making me question myself. (Big conundrum here since I like to question myself.)
That confession is a biggie. My memories of childhood are ones of stoicism. My memories of my mother were of an unflinching woman encompassed in self-sacrifice and hardship. Humble beginnings bring happiness was my motto.
I have always been one of those that relished in the fact that I survived the hardship, which in some way gave me a golden halo of satisfaction. My accomplishment was just surviving my victim-hood. As if being born into my family was some sort of curse, and surviving my childhood was the trophy to be won.
Now, with many more years of experience along with more years of changing perspectives I have arrived at a new reality. Or really I have chosen to live a new reality, because I love exploring my inner depths and finding out new things about myself. Challenging myself to grow and move in directions that intuitively feel right.
Usually late when it comes to stopping the madness of everyday life and slowing down to take time for myself needed to be stopped.
I must cherish myself if I can ever be there fully for my children, husband, or anyone else that may need my presence.
So, if you get a chance to check out my Instagram or Facebook page to follow along with my new perspective, then please do. I would love for you guys to share with me your stories as well. How do you show up for your self?
I am an ever changing and emerging feminine goddess made in the image of the all that is and I hope to continue the journey for evermore.