I am still seeking inspiration, but I have learned reluctantly that while I wait I still need to create.
Revelations about life are inexhaustible. We can always learn something new. No one is ever going to know everything about any one thing. I know that I seem to be on an encouragement kick, but damn do I need it. I want to be a beacon of light for others taking a similar path as mine, just as I have followed the light of those before me and continue to do so. I want to keep hope alive for others who are becoming discouraged as well. We all have down days, but those down days sure help to contrast the excellent ones.
I love to paint and draw and create neat and eccentric items and musings. That is me and has been me since childhood, but then life happened and I got wrapped up in making rational choices as a consumer and member of western society; creating a family and caring for my children, getting an education and earning a decent wage, putting my inner desires on the back burner and procrastinating.
If I spent the amount of time on my work that I spent on making excuses of why I don’t create then I could probably have a huge portfolio of great masterpieces that hang on some elegant wall in a museum…but instead I chose to think of reasons to continue to dream about that day instead of actually achieving the goal and making it reality.
How come we are taught as children to follow our dreams and be whomever we want to be, but then when it gets down to actually choosing we take the most traveled path which is not our truest desires? Is this the difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who sit back and watch the show?
I think so, and I think I was fooled into thinking that I was part of the audience.
I’m not too bad off I don’t believe this trickery has set me back too far. You must watch out for procrastination’s cousin, though, criticism; criticism of self and others. I am only turning 30 this year and this I hear beckons a plethora of new material for inspiration and many more years of choices to come. I am now taking my life by the reins and just doing. My husband likes to say, “There’s nothing to it, but to do it.” He too has some issues with procrastination that we won’t talk about.
I will continue on and hopefully get this painting out of my head and onto this piece of antiquity I salvaged from the dump, until then I will get another series of paintings finished and enjoy this lovely fall breeze.