To the Mother Who Stabbed Her Children, We Failed You as a Society

Shanynthia Gardner…

My heart goes out to you.

We failed you as a society.

Although I truly want to, I cannot really fathom the depths of despair which caused you to commit such a heinous act against your children; your flesh and blood.

I can only imagine that you must have been in such turmoil with your mind and body having gone through so many pregnancies so quickly with no time to recuperate. You probably have not slept a full night in more than 5 years.  Your pregnancies probably depleted your body of all of its nutrients that allow for someone to think logically and with reason.

I do not know your circumstance and I can only speculate about what kind of person would continually get you pregnant so quickly after having so much strain on your body.  I truly hope you were not also in an abusive relationship.  A person like that to me could not have been a loving and understanding father, husband, or partner.

I cannot imagine what it would be like, but I do want you to know that I am mourning the lives of your children and hoping for the best for your surviving son.  He is going to have to endure all of the ridicule that you receive and his heart will be tortured for many years to come.  Some people do not think about these things when they quickly judge someone else’s action.  For that I am truly sorry.

I really hope that the other partner/s involved in this tragedy do not exploit these circumstances for financial gain when he or they are culpable in this matter.  Women do not have babies alone and real fathers have compassion for their wives and partners.  Real men help with the children and try to relieve stress on the mother.

I too have been in the deep shadows of the depths of despair where psychosis lurks. It is not enjoyable to rise from those places back into the light and realize the pain and destruction that you have caused.  You can never go back.  You must now forever live with this guilt and for that I am really sorry, and I do not judge you.  My heart goes out to you and your family.

Human beings whom are reading this, if you know a mother who too has had this many children in such a short time period please give them some stress relief!

Cook them a good dinner.

Clean their house.

Watch the kids and give them an afternoon off.

Hang out, laugh, and do laundry together.

Do not make them feel bad for having gotten pregnant yet again. It happens.  What is done is done.  The least we can do is help make life a bit easier so that the next generation of human beings can grow up to make this world an even better place where tragedies like this, that are preventable, do not occur.

We can learn from this.

We are all in this together.

http://www.survivingppp.com/2016/01/postpartum-psychosis-can-you-forgive.html#.V3gGUDVRKAU

View story at Medium.com

http://thehealthcure.info/this-chilling-story-of-postpartum-psychosis-will-make-you-rethink-maternal-mental-illness/https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/isnt-what-i-expected/201202/postpartum-psychosis-scary-treatable

*Edit Note: I was informed via Facebook by George Brown of WREG that his understanding is that not all of the children were Shanynthia’s biological children and that we do not know if her husband was supportive or not.  He also added that we do not know if she sought, turned away, or was turned away from an kind of treatment.  I wanted to add these because I wrote earlier from the heart after hearing such negativity about this story.  I did not do any research and did not claim that I was reporting in any way about this story.

I would like to note that women can have postpartum psychosis from only one pregnancy.  It does not just occur after multiple pregnancies.  Also I would like to note, that I thank all of those fathers out there that do their best to be supportive, my husband is one.  You guys rock as well as any aunts, mother, sisters, friends, and the like that support our mother’s in this world.  We need people like you.  We need deeply caring and compassionate people to support us in any way possible.

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The Black and White of the Gray State

Gray State

Wow.

This concept has been floating around in the minds of many for quite some time now. I actually was not one of the millions who viewed the trailer since its first release in 2012, and as of the time of this post I have not yet viewed the trailer or the documentary. I plan on doing that after I express my ideas. I am not sure either if making a trailer for a film that is still just an idea is a thing or not. I believe when pitching a film maybe one does this, but it does seem a bit overboard in my opinion just from what I have read.

Now, as a life’s purpose project, I definitely could see myself pushing this hard to get my idea picked up…I think. I have three books I’m writing which are near and dear to my heart and yet I have only spoken in extent about them to a few friends and family (well that is until now). I also have never seen war firsthand nor have I worked for our government in a militaristic capacity either. Maybe this fervor that David Crowley had came from his personal experiences. I have known many, who did serve the military in Iraq and Afghanistan, and they did not have much good to say about the situation, and many have also ended their lives.

To me there is a huge dichotomy being created at the moment around the film release of American Sniper and by the release of Gray Matter: The Rise. It is a reprieve for those who are against war and our ever increasing militaristic government.

I rather not go into my opinion about American Sniper nor its media aftermath, but I am compelled to share some thoughts on this Gray State production.

A comment on Facebook that was made on behalf of Gray State, that I can only suppose was David Crowley goes as follows:

“Sometimes I feel like it was our will alone keeping national disaster at bay. But I will   tell you this: A SERIES, which could be produced and released WAY FASTER     than a film, has the potential to subvert the system. How can it not? Sorry guys but Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones, while entertaining, lack a real-world purpose. Gray State will not fail you. How could it?”

I would like to say that intuitively I feel as though David had become destitute in his journey to get his message to the public. He felt as though he needed to drastic measures taken and he calculated vehemently as a mad man would and came to the conclusion that a mystery death would bring about the needed controversy to push his agenda. I am reminded of the protagonist Raskolnikov in Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment.

David Crowley may have settled on an problem-reaction-solution just as the CIA and FBI have been known for. “Why not play their game against them?” He may have asked himself.

I do not judge him in his actions. He did in his reality, what he perceived as the correct move. I do not judge in the same way as if those “big bad secret guys” in black suits came in through his back patio and set the whole thing up. (I do not think the latter, however, since I have a romantic notion that humanity hasn’t stooped that low.)

I may, though, postulate opinions according to my experience, but I do not live in their lives. I do not see the world through their experience spectacles. I do love a good movie/book/TV series which I feel allows me to very briefly see the world through another’s eyes, but I can only view these with my perspective and my perspective is only mine. This is the same with everyone else, unless I have lived your experience I can only suppose how you feel about things, that is, unless your help reveal your truth to me. I love swapping opinions and views with others, especially when the others are truthfully exposing their opinions for the sake of the exchange.

This may be why I enjoy reading the comments of others on things that I see on the internet. To me the comments are more important than the actual information from the media that initiated the comments.

I love changing venues so to speak and listen in to the conversations. There are all types of people represented in any given place. Say for instance, I just viewed a Youtube video about Ancient Aliens (you knew that was coming, right?) and I saw many people commenting against the premise of the video…I wondered about those people’s intentions. Why watch something one is against and then start discord amongst a group of people? I can see a stating of opinion, but it gets way worse than that in YouTube comments. These are things many would not wail at another on the street. These are usually words that could get someone arrested if spoken in public and created a scene. (Yes, just because we have free speech does not mean that we can just tear out the hearts of fellow humans around us and get away with it.)

I create this scenario in my head:

“Hey, how about I go watch this video about aliens in the suggestions. I don’t believe in them, but I just want to watch anyways….”

*video incites negative thoughts*

The ego of the person does not like that he may be wrong….he must defend his position.

“Hey, now let me comment and let everyone know how stupid I think they are because I don’t believe in what they believe in.”

*nastily comments to others calling them derogatory names according to their avatars*
Ego gets an uplifting boost from the undermining of others, person now feels on top of their game.

*Gets flushed and has rush of adrenaline when others begin to comment back*

*Gets very pissed off that others commenting back are against him *

“I better just keep bashing them all, let me watch this debunking video about aliens, they know what they are talking about.”

*continues to switch back and forth between dissenters of his opinion with those who agree with him…Ego grows ever stronger*

This is like mental flexing. I love this game and the internet is my playground.

However, the continuation of comments on the Facebook page for the production Gray State is a bit disconcerting. I am radically confused. People are still commenting to comments months after the initial Q and A comment back in September 2014. This is despite the Google results I get that mostly speak of the death of Crowley. What is really odd is that it seems David never commented after that date. A lot of his comments also have a PR feel to them; very vague and cheery. He practically shuns all fan funding and apparently completely ignores others extending helping hands.

I can only guess he either never intended on full production or he was very disillusioned about the whole Hollywood production process.

Another comment made on behalf of Gray State:

“It’s already too late. Know yourself and be free anyway.”

which was prompted by the comment:

“Will the movie be ready before its to late?”

I again can only postulate that David was already well on a lonesome road to disillusionment about the entire current state of our world. He was slowly becoming in his mind a messiah figure to the Enlightenment movement that has spread across the plane of the internet.

I am sad at the loss of lives, but it is all rather entertaining.

That is why we continue on anyway…the entertainment of our minds.

In this moment I may not seem to be one your side, but that does not mean that I am against you.

Wish I was as Good as This Guy…

Video

This guy does such a better job at explaining what I was ranting about weeks ago.

All that college education that I am currently paying for while employing myself usually gets jumbled up with my emotions from the present as well as with memories from my childhood and the knowledge that my children will have to suffer more extraneous if I don’t help do something to help change our current situation as humans on this Lone Pale Blue Dot.